It is becoming increasingly evident that one’s mental and emotional well-being is critical to the process of healing. This is true whether we are attempting to heal a physical illness, disease or injury – or a mental/ emotional trauma. One of the most important questions we must ask ourselves is: “Do I truly wish to heal?” At first this may seem to be an absurd question to some, but in fact it is vital that we address this with all sincerity and self-honesty.
Besides the fact that many times people will come to identify their “wounds” as a part of themselves, there is the even more devastating possibility that they will learn to speak what some call “Woundology.” This comes about when it becomes apparent to the individual that they receive greater attention, support and sympathy from their family and friends than if they were healthy. If left unattended, this can be turned into an unfortunate source of power and manipulation. Have you ever met or known someone who used a past injury/illness as a defense for their actions?
There are several types of help/support groups in existence that literally teach people to proclaim their identity as “I am an Alcoholic,” or “I am a survivor/victim of rape or incest,” etc. While admitting this to oneself is a vitally important beginning to the healing process, there comes a point when it must be released as part of your identity. Many times this can develop into extreme situations where “wounded” people will eventually eliminate those people from their lives who do not support their self identification as a victim. They will limit their contact to people who “understand” and offer sympathy. In other cases it is common that their “wound” becomes a form of license to be rude, manipulative and callous towards others. Then, when challenged due to this, they instantly whip out their “wound” as a form of license to be this way. Often times this results in the person who “called them” on their behavior to actually apologizing to them!
I ask you, who would give up this kind of power? Why heal at all when it provides this sort of control? Obviously, this is an extremely unhealthy way to live, and inevitably results in a further decline in health, as well as in relationships to others. How can it not when the person has chosen the role of the professional victim?
When we take an honest look at this, it is obvious that this is a fear-based mentality. The person has the perception that they will no longer receive the attention, support and/or sympathy that has become their “norm.” It is a fear that their life will change, and this is one of the greatest fears many people have. Change implies an element of the unknown, and therefore it seems intimidating. The fact is that many times these situations come into our lives as life lessons for the very purpose of facilitating change that is ultimately for our highest good.
Remember, your thoughts, perceptions and beliefs create your reality – absolutely! Rather than identifying yourself as a victim, realize that you are a person who has had this experience in your life and find the lesson that it has for you. Once you learn the lesson, you will find that it has indeed been a great teacher and your spirit will have grown accordingly.
Be good to yourselves and to others. Be Love.Marty Rawson is a healer with Rejuvenation Healing Systems and can be reached at mrawson@earthlink.net.
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